#i’m still sinking
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look at the way i ride ~
#lyss.vent#been feeling very much on the edge lately#of what? i’m not really sure#a classic Meltdown ™ maybe#i have a therapist i talk to weekly now and that’s been a huge help fs#but it’s still like#my boat has a hole#too many to count actually#i’m constantly dumping out the water but it doesn’t matter yk?#i’m still sinking#there are so many things i should be thankful for#friends and family that care about me#i have hobbies that i enjoy#a good consistent job that pays well#i’m working 40 hrs a week and making enough to save monthly#this is what it means to be successful right ?#i should be happy…i have everything i need…#yet i feel rundown and empty#i’ve also realized that there are horrible ugly things that still live deep inside my bones#why do i blame myself for them when i was just there? when i was the victim?#i’m the only one who can save myself from it all so why can’t i?#what’s even worse is that i have to watch from the sidelines while life single-handedly fucks up my loved ones too#i’m so powerless in all aspects of my life#everything’s out of my control#and it hurts so much :(((#tbh old me would’ve given up by now but that dumb bitch isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore#she’s just along for the ride now but she won’t give me the aux#tho new me is stubborn and has something to prove so i’ll keep driving :3 vroom vroommm#i’ll play my own music soon#i love queue ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
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okay hi so listen hear me out
sea snake is a bit too obvious (and too boring)
so i made him based on some kind of lionfish??? (bc something something venomous marine animal) also with a LOT of creative liberties i made with how the fish looks like
let’s also give his fins some rips and tears here and there bc what are the implications of that??? that’s for you 🫵 to decide
anyways chat i lowkey dont know what i was doing
i had no other thoughts but haha funny snake man i turn into fish
#mmm the quality is so crunchy#also his ass is under there i swear#a friend pointed out where it was and i’m just hfjjdjdjd#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#merjam🐍#-✦—]#also hey hi tag readers#let's do something fun here#(if you don't like deep water/drowning(?) imagery please dont continue past this 💖)#“dont go near the ocean they say”#“for there are sirens that will compel you with their beauty and their seductive voices”#“however you find yourself being lured in by the sea with an enchanting sound”#“before you knew it you're underwater sinking deeper and deeper”#“despite the water filling your lungs you find yourself still conscious but not in control of yourself”#“as you gaze into a pair of enchanting charcoal eyes”#“this creature... it's a siren. and somehow you can hear its thoughts and commands”#“finally. you. you are the key”'#“the siren yearns to be free from the dreary depths”#“you're human aren't you?” “the siren wants to be human too” “the siren wants to be free”#“the siren tried to hide it but you can feel that it was desperate”#“you /will/ take it onto land”#“you /will/ let the siren be a part of that world... or else”#(idk what im on tbh but mer AU 😔😔😔😔)
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at this point wouldn't it be better to just never wear a bra?
if i didn’t wear a bra they’d bounce while i walk, and that’s SO annoying
#i mean. it’s cute but definitely annoying#and they’d get in the way of cleaning#it’s embarrassing but i make a mess when washing my face bc they’re too big and i can’t lean all the way over the sink#also bc it’s still in the 80s here and i get sweaty :((#and if i’m around ppl it feels more appropriate to wear a bra
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Sketch of Kraw asleep in his captain’s den (Jago calls it the ‘squash pit’). His bed is literally like a small in-ground pool lined with blankets and pillows and a makeshift mattress nest; he’s had to be very innovative to make his boat accommodating for him. I didn’t draw enough of his trinkets and clutter but he enjoys hanging things and the look of paper lanterns. Ellie and her kids make them for him.
#he’s like a giant cat in a giant sink#kraw#sea monster#hallowed carrion#I’m just vicariously sleeping through Kraw in his massive pillow pit#i’d never leave man#still not confident in his boat design so#back to the drawing board#I think he’s going to have a modified trimarna though
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i got soundcheck for skz 🥺
#like three hours ago i’m just now letting it all sink in#still can’t believe THAT happened i’m so happy 😭😭#most stressful ticketing experience of my life tho#the way i really thought chilean stay wouldn’t sold out the vip packages bc of how high the prices were 🤡#lmao i guess we were all saving up for this good for us
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Reading an article on how no one truly knows how to read a book front to back anymore is making me so terrified I literally don’t gaf if I’m a biochem major it’s looking more and more every day like I’m going for that literature master’s degree for no reason other than to feel something
#No I’m not kidding like HUH!!!!!#Chemistry always made the most sense but fuck that a lit masters is what I need#Like I can get chem pubs still who cares#I can take a lit class then detour to my organic chem lab I can make it work I was built for that kind of dichotomy#I will NOT allow my reading skills to atrophy just bc I’m in a science field#NO!!!!!#No omg#I have a BOOKCASE#I’m literally scared#I literally need a lit professor to yell at me#Or I need to unironically download pdfs of rhetorical analysis and go to town but I’m actually scared#Like my biggest fear is being one of those ppl who read tons of books but absorb nothing#I think the one thing I refuse to have ruined for me is actually engaging and connecting w books#I’m being serious .#Clutching the kitchen sink trying to talk myself out of spending thousands on a lit masters degree#(It wouldn’t be a waste it would be so cathartic)#I’m speaking from a place of deep fear rn but it’s also absolutely a possibility
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guys I might be moving Augusts tattoos around again/changing some of them don’t kill me pls I have ideas
#fish speaks#me going wow I’m gonna draw August as a warmup#since I haven’t drawn in days#and then immediately rethinking her design hahahah#it’s ok I’m not gonna change that much#maybe#hopefully#idk I’m still in the sketch phase sink
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Being an adult and moving into your own place sucks I spent the whole day mapping out things that don’t smell to me (bc I live here) but probably smells to a stranger and went out my way to eliminate the smells. Tip of the day if you have a smelly area bc lots of pipes and what not put coffee grounds in a little container and keep it there such a pleasant scent remover
#my trash can is in like a cabin where there’s a lot of pipes those pipes are connected to the sink and for some reason they reek#makes sense tho bc they’re renovating this place but still#I put some coffee grounds there and now I cannot smell it anymore#and then I power washed the whole bathroom like I scrubbed any and every trash can or washing basket#and now I’m trying to figure out how to remove any funky smells from the hallway#it’s mostly the shoe rack that pisses me off bc it smells musty no matter what
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the moment he remembered Emmet...
Out of all the moments to remembers... it's now...
Mishearing Ember for Emmet, subconciously reaching out to someone who isn't there. The fog surrounding his memories is lifting, returning to their original station.
I'm sure he's at the point where he's not fully there anymore. At this moment he's probably back in Unova waiting for Emmet, ready to finish off the day at the Battle Subway.
It has been a long day and he is eager to get some rest to sleep. Today he's extra tired from work. He's sure that Emmet is as well. He's so tired and he wants to rest. "Sleep" tugging at him.
The level of pain has been through the roof with this! But it is comforting that the next time he comes to be and is more clear there IS gonna be Emmet at his side along with Akari most mayhaps!
Gosh I already know this fic is gonna rip me to shreds but I'm gonna be all there for that!
And the WIPs and the way you're writing is definitely making this a ride I wanna be in until the end!
In regards to this IWLYB WIP I posted
Correct, Ingo is losing himself at the end here, probably not sure of what he is and isn’t supposed to be seeing or hearing anymore, and not being well enough to realize he should care that’s even happening. The brain is just going through everything it still has.
But man the way you phrase it, to him he is just waiting for Emmet after a long day of work and being tired and just wanting to sleep. Ohhh ow ow <;( OWW AUGH
But you are also correct in that his next lucid moment will be waking up to see Emmet and Akari. He’s got it easy past this point, just lose consciousness and wake up at the good part. Akari’s the one that’s left alone with all the hard work to get him to that point!
I’m so glad you’re looking forward to the fic and you’re enjoying the WIPs!! Thank you so much!!
#wayward’s asks#I Won’t Leave You Behind#gonna be honest for a long time I’ve been like ‘Ember’s name is so close to Emmet I should use that’ and didn’t know what to do with it#until I started writing this and went oh#once again a lot of this is what links this fic to the song ‘Curses’ by Acloudyskye#it’s got lines like#‘watch me disappear as I’m leaving here coming up with words till the end is near’#‘I’ve fallen off the earth again and all the world rushes underside’#‘Is that why? all these storms are getting worse but as I sink into the dirt I feel fine’#it feels very reminiscent of someone going numb in every sense as they lose themselves#that’s how I take it at least and apply it to this fic#I still want to do an animatic to that song#one day
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ik this is an unpopular opinion on the undying monogamous romantic devotion website but I fear I love situationships I love friends with benefits I love weird messy undefined relationships they’re soooo so so tasty like can we not get down n dirty n have a bit of fun…
#guys life and art is so rich and textured I’m booooored of soulmates and nice clean marriages n perfect therapized relationships LETS SINK#OUR FANGS INTO SMTHN!!!#I also know I have mutuals who v strongly disagree w this and it’s so okay I still love u all…. this is simply my truth 😔#about me
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idk when to call it “ghosting” or if that even applies if you’ve only talked online, but this hinge girl has stopped talking to me after maybe like a week of messaging, to which i’m like…oh well. tbh i’m probably not ready for anything even approaching dating. it’s weird though that i’m feeling kinda bummed instead of relieved—which is how i think i would have felt a year ago if the same thing happened. actually a year ago i wouldn’t have even tried talking to her. so it’s probably a good sign that i managed to talk to her for a while. it’s probably a good sign that i was at all interested in someone. it shows im still capable of being interested, which i didnt think i was until now, so there’s that.
#shannon tries dating#siiigh she was really cool tho :/#we liked all the same shows and books and stuff#idk what made her stop talking to me but i’m not gonna blame#myself#i get that shit happens it’s fine#but still. being ignored is a huge trigger for me so i’m trying to be positive. im#just kinda bummed#i was actually excited to get messages#from her#that hasn’t happened FOR THE LOOONGEST TIME#hm maybe i should put billy joel on repeat and just sink into the earth
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I hope you have a shit ton of fun with 🦇. You deserve to be put first
thank you 💖💖
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I haven’t watched it in a while but Zuko and Toph actually should’ve had the life-changing field trip because I really needed her to find out that his biggest problem is a father that demanded his children be the best benders around and kind of envy that, and then I needed him to find out that her biggest problem is parents that believed her to be helpless and wanted to love and protect her anyway and just totally flip out.
#I always felt bad for them. If I found out that my 12-year-old (blind or not) was living a dangerous double life I would also lose my mind#We didn’t really get to see them at their best#They kind of had the “okay you’re grounded FOREVER” moment that a lot of parents would have under those circumstances#and then she hit the road before the knowledge could sink in#I mean I’m sure she had reason to think that they’d still be overprotective if they knew how self-sufficient she was#but that theory was never actually tested#It doesn’t bug me the show’s about dumb kids acting like dumb kids so of course she takes it for granted they’ll never get her and runs off#with people who do#but then you have a whole adult audience watching it and acting like they’re as bad as Ozai pardon me what#Anyway. Missed opportunity! HUGE
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Holy shit I’m listening to Dirty Girl rn and I remembered yesterday I learned that the whole bridge to Nerdy Prudes Must Die (the ‘will you pray for me’ bit) was supposed to be a seperate song that was gonna open Act 2 and it was supposed to be like a dream sequence with Grace and Max?? And honestly it would’ve been a really cool tie in between the two characters since Max also sings ‘will you pray for me’ in Dirty Girl 🤔
#sunny speaks#find it interesting that both times#grace would’ve been dreaming/imaging max asking her to pray for him#find it interesting as well that the meaning of the line changes context between characters#though I’m glad that that part of the song happened between Richie and Max instead#very iconic moment in the musical#and still holds a lot of meaning and emotional weight despite the context changing#I’m interested to see how richie’s death would’ve gone down if Jeff Blim kept that part as a seperate song#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield#max was absolutely projecting onto Richie#trying to sort of taunt him in a way??#like#he’s essentially saying that everyone had forgotten about him when he died#and people would just do the same to Richie when he dies too#and it makes sense because multiple times characters mention that people go missing all the time#which means that those disappearances don’t end up being a big deal#god no matter how unserious npmd can get#it’s just such a well constructed musica#there’s just so much to sink my teeth into
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*he spilled my cup of paint water all over everything idk why I said he spilled watercolors I just woke up girls
I literally walked away for two minutes tops to make coffee and came back to his ass sitting on this water color palette and my painting open after spilling my watercolor water all over it
Look at that face. He knows he did something wrong hahahha
#I really wish I had a pic of him just sitting on the watercolors bc it was hilarious#like he looked so innocent and cute and I just knew his was was covered in various colors hashahwhwha#but i was more concerned with the toxicity so my immediate reaction was to try to clean his paws the best I could#and research#it won’t cause any skin or gastrointestinal issues so we’re good thankfully#he will be fine don’t worry lmao it’s water based watercolors#gonna watch him close just in case#grabbed him asap and a wash cloth and took him to the sink#but yes to reiterate it’s NOT TOXIC AND HE IS FINE I PROMISE#also thank goodness I grabbed him immediately before he started prancing around on the white carpet bc I would be yelled at for weeks#u have four bloody scratches on my face but there are not rainbow foot prints all over the house and he is safe so I am fine with that#i**#they’re ^#the way cats attack you and think they’re being punished when you’re literally potentially trying to just save their life#or help them#like unhooking their claw from somethin their stuck too#and like I give a fuck about clothes as much as my cat but there’s paint all over my favorite robe too now hahah#legit thiught the red streaks on my face were watercolor hahahaha so I was like oh shit that blood#I’m not mad#after I found out it wasn’t toxic and that he didn’t step all over the wet carpets and that he was okay i laughed for like 15 minutes#I’m still laughing like… y’all ☠️#please excuse my voice I’m a little sick and I sound like a southerner ew#like why do i sound like someone’s Christian Baptist mother offering someone cookies#Queso#my cats#lmao
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ppl only pretend to care about Duke Thomas and read more than wfa online. Ppl irl who know his name prolly care about him. No I’m not coping with the fact that I’m WATCHING the breaking down and setting to the side of a potential if not already major black character not just in dc but in the batfam specifically AGAIN
#For everyone else I had to play catch up for Duke I’m literally watching it happen#and sometimes I wonder were there diehard Orpheus or fox fam Stans#did another black fans roll their eyes at tams portrayal in RR#did another black fans stomach sink when they saw a white fan favorite take a black characters job and realize what was gonna happen#did they not bother investing in Tiff or onyx bc they knew#bc we either get Jezebel jets or Bea Bennetts and nobody cares about either#are there ppl who don’t care at all bc they’re still holding out for cyborg and icon#sorry I’m sad#but whats that quote about white ppl who see racism as victims with no perpetrators#it’s never them or anyone they know and if you insinuate that maybe they’re not fair or maybe they perpetuate smth#suddenly ur wrong and attacking them and they’ve always liked this character look#u can scroll through the tag and see some fanart and Maybe an ooc hc in a sea of incorrect quotes#but that’s enough for other white people so ur wrong#and it’s not even make content I want right#it’s like. if ur gonna put all ur focus onto where men and pretend it’s revolutionary whatever#why are we taking traits and storylines from black characters to do so#Why are we Including black characters and TAGGING them as viewers to white foolishness#like i wouldn’t care if I didn’t have to see it every time I scrolled through the Duke tag#imagine being able to block a tag you didn’t wanna see and NEVER seeing it bc ppl know how to tag#imagine filtering Duke Thomas centric and not getting a fic where he realizes his job is to take care of dick or tim#sick behavior
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